Hello!
Thank you for joining me on this adventure! This is going to be the Deep Down & Tucked Away Blog space. Here is where I’ll be explaining many of the things I’ve been through and still struggle through. Just want to give you a bit about myself first. I’m going to be an open book, this will be very difficult for me.
Usually I’m very reserved when it comes to past experience and past trauma. I’ve been to MANY therapists and none of them ever actually helped. I always felt like I was talking to a brick wall and not someone who even cared. Therapy can work for some, not for me.
Alright, you want to know me? Well this is just the beginning of a very long road. A road to recovery, a road to self love, self expression and a road to helping others!
My name is Elizabeth, to be honest I’m not a fan of that name. My mother named me that after my great grandmother told her that I’d never be able to spell the first name she wanted to give me, Genevieve. Clearly I can. Thankful for auto correct! Lol I don’t go by Elizabeth, or Liz, or Lizzy, or any of those variants of that name. I did when I was younger and into my teenage years.
About 4-5 years ago I decided to be ME, a big step for me. I chose to go by a preferred name of Gen, or as my beautiful wife calls me, G.
I’m 31 years young, my body is about 200 years OLD! I’m from Utah, born and raised. I was raised in the first house ever built in Murray. Now it’s gone! Bastards! Lol We’ll get to that in another post!
4 years ago I met my soul mate, the love of my life, the person I’ve dreamt about for ages! We’ve been through many lives together, we feel this, we know this! She is my savior, my angel, my everything! When I met her things were ROUGH to say the least. She lifted me up, believed in me, and for some weird reason fell in love with me! We’ve now been married for 3 years! I still remember the day I finally got to meet her, I hugged her and I never wanted to let go. I felt comfortable there, it felt like home.
I have an amazing almost 12 year old son, he’s something else. Perfect. Crazy. Talkative. And a biiiig pain the ass! He’s SEVERELY ADHD! He’s been diagnosed with mild autism, more on the behavioral side. He’s a bad ass with mathematics! I only have him part time... well that’s how it should be. Come back for THAT post! That’ll be a doozy!
I have been through hell and high water. I’ve had many traumatic experiences. These experiences have shaped my life, some for the better, some for the worse. and some I’m still trying to figure out. I have a shit tastic memory, most days I forget to eat, or drink water. Many days I forget what’s been asked of me. Many days I forget to take care of myself. I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, chronic migraines, scoliosis, fibromyalgia, TMJ, fuck all the damn things. I’ve had surgeries. one elective, others not by choice.
I have body dysmorphic disorder. I hate every aspect of myself. Someone can give me a compliment and I will tell myself 20 other things that are wrong with me. Not out loud and not to the person who complimented me. But in my mind. I’m one mean son of a bitch to myself. And not on purpose!
I choose no actual religion. I don’t like to do religious conversations. I was raised Mormon, babtised in the religion, until about 10 when my mother let me choose my own path. Which... was nothing really. My mom taught me many of her pagan ways, but that’s always been hard for me to believe. Definitely do not believe in the occult of Mormonism. Crock of fucking shit in my eyes. Anyway, I’ve found my own path through Satanism. *start the quivering* “Omg, how can you believe in that, are you going to sacrifice a baby?” Shut the fuck up! That is NOT what Satanism is. That’ll be another post soon. Before coming after me about what this religion is, I ask you to please do your research first.
This blog is in hopes to help others who are like me, to help myself get over these things, help those who have been through things like I have, and hopefully bring awareness to many difficult subjects that society hides from the world. Mental illness is a serious issue in this world but it’s the hidden disease that many believe is fake. Mental illness needs to be SEEN! I’m here to show that.
Alright my pretties! I’ll leave it to you to ask some questions you’d like answered. Stay tuned for more posts. Please share my blog in hopes to reach as many individuals as possible to help them on their journey! love you all!! 💜
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